Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
