At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
