y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
