Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
