There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
