My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
