it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
