I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
