? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
