I hate all girls vehemently.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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