i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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