I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
