We're like a lot better than the average bears
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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