i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
