Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
All I want is dick and wine.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
