It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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