I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
