Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
