You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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