My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
