$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
