Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
