It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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