After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize