She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
