You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it was like having sex with a tree stump
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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