like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
