she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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