Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
