Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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