I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
