I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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