First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
