I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
