Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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