i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
