bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i think my tv is drunk
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
