Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i now understand why vodka
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
