I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
