porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
