No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
