dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize