I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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