that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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