bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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