arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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