new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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