Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
