He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
