Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
