sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
