Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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