I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
