imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
