Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
