Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Non-Jews are for practice
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize