i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
