so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize