I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
